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Saturday, February 10, 2007
Schooled in Life
I believe that there are lessons to be learned in life, and I also believe that I just got schooled in one of them: appreciation.
Not two minutes ago I got a big whap in the face telling me that I don't appreciate my step dad enough. There's a few factors mixed in there, I think I used to blame it on the fact that he wedged his way into my mom and I's life. For a few years, that may have been the case, maybe it still is, but there's more to the story. Not even mentioning my odd discomfort towards the male species in general, there's something about a step father.
When my real father died, I went inward to seek blame. I told myself I never appreciated him, up until the end, and I never gave him the attention and love that he deserved. I think some of that bitterness and blame deflected outward: to perhaps the man who I felt like might have tried to replace my father. Poor Malcolm never saw it coming. Well, I don't treat him any different than I used to, I might treat him better since I've matured, but I have the tendancy to like it when he's out of town. It's not really fair to him. He's never shown me hostility, never treated me like the red headed step child, although I have died my hair red from time to time so he would have certainly had the excuse ;).
I guess what I'm trying to say is that even though he's not my real father, I don't want to be standing at another father-figure funeral wishing that I'd done more to appreciate that man. Thanks, Malcolm.