Name: |
Paige |
 |
Age: |
Over
18, Under 21 |
|
About Me: |
|
|
Archives: |
|
July 2006
|
|
Delve Into My Psyche: |
List of random things about me
|
|
Previous Posts: |
|
Blogrolling Around: |
|
|
|
Friday, July 28, 2006
don't taste so nice
Your Power Color Is Lime Green 
You are adventurous, witty, and a visionary.
At Your Lowest:
You feel misunderstood, like you don't fit in.
In Love:
You have a tough exterior, but can be very dedicated.
How You're Attractive:
Your self-awareness and confidence lights up a room.
Your Eternal Question:
"What else do I need in my life?"
for the beauty of the earth
This morning I took a deep breath, looked out the window and said, "I want to go on a walk down to the gas station and get me some dr. pepper. Maybe some chocolate and gum too."
Okay, maybe it didn't exactly happen like this, but I did get an urge to go on a walk. The destination and objectives came along as I awaited my chance to pack Lexie up, and head on out. I never eralize how hard it can be to be trapped in a house for a week until I get these random urges, that have no real purpose. I mean I don't need chocolate and gum, we have chocolate in the pantry. As for Dr. Pepper? It would probably have been better for me to go get some vitamin water instead.
I'm glad I went, though. Lexie and I went there and back again, her looking adorable in her little pink bucket hat, and me wearing make up for the first time in a while. The cashier was very nice even though I held up the line a little.
But the part that made me truly glad I followed my impulse, was the view on the way home. Never before have I seen such cloud formations as I have in Miami. Today included. The sky was rotund with great puffy clouds, with sun rays bouncing hither thither to create values like you've never seen. Majestic is the only word I can think to describe it. If anyone could discover Mt Olympus, these are the clouds that I imagine would be surrounding it.
Now, just barely home from the little walk, it's started to rain. Isn't that amazing? Those clouds held their magnificence just long enough for me to behold them, and now it's pouring forth onto the earth so that it might be enjoyed by everyone. *sigh* TGIF, indeed. I couldn't have asked for a more blessed morning.
love,
paige
p.s. on a lighter note, I was pranked this morning, and I think you all should be a part of it. Prank
Thursday, July 27, 2006
quick update
I can read my comments again!!
It was shaky there for a while, and I almost went insane knowing that I had comments that I wasn't able to read, but everythings good now. So comment away, as you have been! :)
monkeying around
I have a problem, one that should give you a chuckle.
Apparently my boy that is a friend that wants me to be his exclusive girlfriend has bought me an early birthday present. YAY! I love my birthstone! And who cares if it's a month too early, and if he spent freaking all his paycheck on it, it's gorgeous!
Wait.. isn't there something immoral about accepting expensive jewelry from boys you intend never to have romantic involvment with? I'm sure he spent his entire paycheck on it. Maybe I should tell him the truth while he has time to take the ring back.
WWMMD?
I'll tell you what Marilyn Monroe would do, she would take the ring with no thought as to the feelings of the giver. Diamonds were her best friend, so should Peridots be mine? I could put on a fancy dress, and parade down a staircase with men swarming about me.
Those would be my options except for the boy already sent the parcel. It should arrive by this weekend whether I'm having a moral dilemma about accepting it or not. I guess it's never too late to right wrongs... but I want the ring! So bad! After a day of changing three stinky, green diapers, watching Disney flicks, and eating Crispex, I guess I want some glamour in my life, even if it comes in the form of a Zales ring box. Meh, who knows? Maybe me and him will later have something, and the ring will be justified. Yes... I will hold out for that possibility.
:P
enhance
Wow this week went by like no one's business. When did it become thursday? By right, it should still be tuesday! I'm not ready for the weekend! Don't get me wrong, I like my family, and I enjoy road trips like fine chocolate, but there just seems like so much preparation. Now that I think about it, though, what is there to do besides pack??
Statement rethought: packing is God's punishment for materialistic people. The more things you own, the more you have to pack, or feel like you have to pack anyway. That doesn't even include the baby. Her stuff is inumerable, or atleast it feels that way when you are packing/unpacking/ foldering her laundry. Makes one wish to be a 
minimalist, and live soley on the bare necesseties. I could do it, just give me one more year with my best clothes, and then I'll throw them out, no problem. ;) yeah right
Speaking of bare necessities, I watched Jungle Book this morning and thoroughly enjoyed it. I forget how good the classic, non-princess Disney can be. Sure I like Bell, and Ariel, and Jasmine. But they get so mundane and repetitous. Whereas if you watch Sword and the Stone, or Jungle Book, you get life lessons that are good for future kings, man cubs, and the rest of us too.
Holy rusted metal, I should be a movie review-er person. Those 'inspirational' wors of encouragment just rolled right off my tongue. Didn't it make you want to go watch classic, non-princess Disney? Yes, I think I'll send in my application to EW this afternoon ;) NOT, movie review people are crabby and negative. I'd rather not be a part of that.
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
into the fray
It's that time of the month for Nanny McPaige. You know what that means: cramps, fatigue, midol with a liter of pepsi, all the fun stuff of a starting day. My favorite part is the cramps, because for me they last painfully all day, coming in waves no matter how many midol I take. The pain isn't acute enough to passout, yet it's annoying enough to want to shoot myself in the stomach rather than continue bearing the cramps. This is why I am against having guns in the house, one day I could loose my nerve and just go for it. ;)
I've read a few blogs lately that have done entries about the past, depicting memories and such. They're really good reads, I'll have to post one one day. If I ever think of a past event interesting enough to write about.
Still, my comments aren't working. I'm so sorry if you have left one, but I don't know whats going on that I can't read them. As soon as I can I will reply to them , I promise!
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
slim down
Once again I have been let down by blogspot. All the comments from any entry? I can't see them. Yeah, it's great. I have like four new comments that I'm not able to view. Maybe blogspot isn't to hold all the blame, because if I didn't want to see my comments, then it wouldn't be a problem. *scowl*
Bittersweet day for me. I have to admit that it will be nice to go to Calif and have a day to myself, with a car and no baby to take care of. At the same time, I'm going to miss having a baby to take care of. It's not like I can call her when I miss her, to see how she's doing, ya know? But there's no way around it. I have to go to school, and I have to start driving again till I find a way to put it off forever. (i'm not exactly a good driver, nor do I enjoy driving. at all. so it's been nice not having a car for a year, but I know that isn't going to last)
I've decided to have a special blog on tuesdays: weird crush of the week. Sunday's post inspired me to tell about the oddies of my 'love life', but i'm mostly going to be talking about celebrities, or movie characters. That's mostly why they're odd, since I can love them all I want from the distance, and it wont ever be rejected or anything. That's probably why I distance myself from REAL boys and go for the fakies.
Anyway, yeah I think it's a good way to learn about me. So here goes;
This week's weird crush is Steve Carrell.
That's right, the guy from 40 Year Old Virgin. Not only does he have a nice body, is brilliantly funny, and seems like a pretty nice guy (from what you see on camera) but he has one thing most guys don't have. He has the nerve, and complete comfort to sing "Age of Aquarius" on a major movie finale, with his buddies dancing around topless. It's phenominal, I love that scene probably the most out of the whole movie just becuase they all are dancing and prancing with humorous intentions. Come to think of it, that makes me have crushes on all of his friends in that movie too. . . Especially the one who was in Anchorman with him, Paul Rudd. I dont know, I just think he's cute.
There you have it, my weird crush of the week. You never know who I'll crush on next.
Monday, July 24, 2006
angry glare
I just finished typing one of the most insightful, emotional, and self viewing posts that I've ever attempted. But now it's gone. Thank you, Blogspot ... ...bastards ...
Now I'm all emptied out, I don't think I can attempt to re-type up the whole thing. Perhaps I can summarize though:
Standing on a precipice. Scared to step forward, but can't go back. Have to wait for wind to pick up and carry me into wait awaits. Not sad, not lonely. Jumbled twister of emotions running through me. Feel like the future is coming at me fast, don't know if I'm ready. Epiphany an hour ago: some time, in near future I fear, life will take violent turn and head into future I never could imagine for myself. Destiny holding the hadnle of my leash. In denial for so long about how life works, and how I've lived it. My life in retrospect (not long to you perhaps, but all I have) been random series of events that lead me along the path. Instinct tells me I might not be a writer afterall, not as a paid writer anyway. . . Something coming . . . Near future meaning this fall semester. This scares me. Not ready. But I guess I must be, instincts tell me that when oppurtunity comes, I'll know what to do.
Okay, now imagine that stretched out into a few paragraphs, and you might be able to grasp what my lost post could have been. :( makes me sad to lose it, I would have very much liked to save that sucker. I feel like cursing, but everyone's asleep so I'll just go play some violent online game, or maybe make a quiz.
Actually, I'm extremely pissed off at the internet, atleast at blogspot, so I'm very tempted to just turn off the comp. This way, I can go read, or try to go to sleep. Much more productive than wanting to be angry at an inanimate object. Goodnight!
only bait in town
Your EQ is 93 
In a whirling reality-check this morning, I realized that in two weeks from today, I will be back in san diego, not to see lil Lexie for quite some time. It hurts, i'm not going to lie. No matter what that quiz says up there, I do tend to get more emotional than people think I do. Only when I'm leaving things behind though. I get all attatched and it's hard to let go.
You allways want to be missed as much as you'll miss the people you're leaving behind. Until this evening, I didn't realize that I would be. My sis told me that my niece is going to go through withdrawl for a few weeks after I leave, and not be able to understand where I went or why I'm gone. That really hurts me. I think now it's going to be even harder to leave, knowing I'm not only emotionally hurting myself, but that Lexie is going to be hurt by it as well. Wow, pain.
EEk. No more of that, I have other things on my plate like fixing dinner. Talk to you duckies lata tonight perhaps.
-paigy
Sunday, July 23, 2006
eye to eye
Man, there's something about having a fresh tan/sunburn that wears you out. Sadly, I dodn't take any pictures while we were actually in the keys, but here's a cute picture of Lexie wrapped up in my swim-suit wrap/dealie. Isn't she adorable?? This happened to be when I was packing for the trip, on friday morning. We left friday night, later than expected, after a scare with me and Lexie being momentarilly sick. I don't know what happened with that, but we both got over it pretty instantly. It must have been the prospect of going on the first real vacation of the summer. Woohoo!!
All of us got really tan, even poor Lil Lexie. The people we were with did too. None of us are good with sunblock apparently. I tried, but as usual, I failed and have the funkiest 'burn' lines ever. So imbarrassed. But it's difficult to want to block the sun when youre so pale, you know? I cringe, but then late rin cringe from sun burns. Go figure.
Speaking of the people we were 'vacationing' with, I haven't told anyone, but I had the hugest crush on Dean. He was a guy there with his 7 year old son, taking care of him for the summer. I think the reason I had such a big crush on him, besides my attraction to older guys (we wont even say how old this one was), because he and I had to share a room, and he and his son were in the other bed like a foot away from me. When he and his son went to bed, it was so sweet, the son curled right into his father's arms, ADORABLE. That's what my reason was for being infatuated. Luckilly I only crush on guys who would never 'crush' on me back. Old enough to be my father, come on, there's going to be no reciprication on that.
I don't know if I should have posted that, now my sister is going to tease me forEVER. Oh well, she hasn't gotten new material in some time. This is like my gift to her.
ok, freckle face is bugging me about her turn to blog, so I will allow her to have her time now. Good evening, and I shall post again tomorrow.
Friday, July 21, 2006
heart of gold
recovery... is it forever?
After the little incident last night, Steph and I are doing well. We felt better instantly after we knew Lexie was okay, Steph allways knew Lexie was okay. But Steve? He's still freaking out, even though she's perfectly okay. Freaking out might not be the right phrase, but he's acting really weird. He was in the room just now and he kept going on and on about how it was scary, and how he didn't blame me. About five times I'd explained to him that I had forgiven myself, Lexie was okay, nothing was wrong. I know he might be trying to make me feel better, and wanting to talk about it to help himself feel better... But it's kind of creeping me out how loopy he is. I asked him if he's gotten any sleep, or any food to eat. He said he couldn't sleep last night, kept checking in on Lexie to see if she still breathing, but he had some lunch.
*sigh* I'm glad my mom wasn't the crazy worrier that he keeps telling me his was. Makes me want to call my mom up and tell her thanks for not messing me up. (i'm not trying to say Steve is messed up, I'm just saying that she didn't help him by making him paranoid, and babying his brother into permenant childhood) Hopefully Steve didn't jump off the band wagon again, but it's not really my place to go asking him if he did or not.
Beach this weekend! That's about all I can say about that. I have no energy it seems, like all of us here at the ol' house. That's proably why we need this weekend at the beach. I don't know about Steve and Steph, but I plan to spend my time just relaxing. A big towel, sunglasses, a lemonade, and i'll be ready to soak in some sun. R&R is what we all need here, and I hope Steve soaks it in and gets over last night's incident.
-paige
Thursday, July 20, 2006
dramatic tension
BIG panic this evening. I nearly had a heart attack. Poor Lexie rolled right off my bed, hit her head on the carpet. I swear my lungs contracted into my throat, it was aweful. Never more shall I be on the computer while she is playing on the bed behind me. Pillows don't seem to be enough to constrain her anymore. Oh it was aweful.
Well, it wasn't too aweful because she got injured or anything, let me clear that up. It's aweful on the nerves of me and her father steve. My sister, her mother, knew she was okay even if she was sleeping. I think my main problem was that the whole thing was my fault. Steve... well he's just a worrier, it's a trait of his family's. MY family on the other hand is more level headed, I guess I haven't developed that trait yet. More expirience, and I think it will make itself more apparent.
Now I'm trying to chill out, I took an aleve and ate some cookies with pizza. Alos, I turned on some Enigma, (return to innocence) very relaxing music.
What we need to do tonight is pack because this weekend we're off to Key West, one of my brother in law's friends is renting a big beach house and invited us up for the weekend. Those people are great, so trusting. After only knowing me fore like 2 and a half days, Sheri (wife) was asking if I'd be available to baby sit next spring break up in Salt Lake City. WOW, you know? And she has the cutest little girls, even if they are a bit roudy.
Shari also asked me if I wanted to house sit for them for 11 days over this week and next. Meaning being at her house while I'm supposed to be here taking care of Lexie, and not joining them at the beach house. She offered money, but come on! I only have 2 more weeks left to play nanny with my wittle niece. I'm not gonna spend 11 days at another house, not even mentioning that there would be no one to watch Lexie.
2 weeks... *sigh* and I let her roll off the bed... Good job, Nanny McPaige.
Alright enough self loathing for me, I'm off to try and a pack a bit.
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
dreaded roberts
I'm having a real 'bitch' issue with myself this fine wednesday.
After I got a message from someone I thought was Robby, my net romance, and it appeared he'd changed his user name from Hurc, my pet name for him, back to Robert. This made me panic, and search my mind for reasons he may be pissed at me. Was it because I ignored his phone call today? Was it because I was short with him in our conversation yesterday? Then I caught myself, and said; "Paige, you did those things so that he would get mad at you. Now you don't want him mad at you?"
And I replied, "Self, no. I did those things to see how far I could push this guy and still have him picture me as a goddess like he does." I'm no goddess, Robbie doesn't realize that yet.
But that's the problem with net romances, your 'sig other' can have a totally messed up preception of you and there's nothing to let him know he's wrong. I thought I wanted him to stop obsessing over me. I was wrong. That is why I'm a bitch, and I do play games with people's hearts. This does come as a shock, even though it shouldn't.
Meh, I guess I've been doing it for years. The only way to stop is cold turkey. Am I willing to do that? Yes, I think so, but that means little since I hardly realize what I'm doing till it's too late. Example: I've been toying with my ex boyfriend for MONTHS now, calling him up at random times, talking for hours, making empty promises to call more often, and that we will go to disney land together someday. But as soon as we hang up, I know it wont happen. See? BITCH, right here. *sigh*
On a lighter note, my blog will have a fresh new look to it pretty soon. My talented, web-savy sister is helping me out with the layout ect. (when I say helping, I mean she is nice enough to make one for me) Thanks Steph!
-peggy le paige-
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
dial M for Milly
Tuesdays don't get any credit, I feel sorry for them , I really do.
Do you ever get the feeling like there's millions of things you should be doing instead of what you aredoing? The to do list could stretch on for decades, yet all you can muscle up the energy to do is watch a movie, or read blogs? But the whole time you're avoiding the must-do-things, your brain wont let you rest completely, because it keeps bugging you about what you ought to get up and do.
Then, you start to stand up, reluctant but unable to resist anylonger, and realize that there really isn't anything to do. The house is as clean as it needs to be, no one is hungry, and the beds are all made up with clean sheets. So you really do have a reason to sit down for a moment, and enjoy a good movie or whatever.
I hate these moments. Becuase as soon as I have nothing SUPER important to do, my brain starts to rumage for something not so important, but neccesary nonetheless. Such as calling up friends you haven't spoken to in months. Picking up that book you meant to finish weeks ago. Bakeing those cookies that everyone likes so much. For me, writing that book that I keep dreaming up new ideas and characters for, yet never get around to concentrating the ideas onto paper and organizing them.
I suppose everyone does this, especially in this day in age where there never seems to be enough hours in the day to get things done. Damn the 21st century. It makes even the most fun-seeming tasks impossibly difficult to get around to.
Robbie called me this afternoon... *sigh* When will that boy learn that his phone conversations mean less than squat to me? I'm surprised anyone talks to him, because a conversation with him consists of you repeating, 'uh huh' 'oh really?' 'that's crazy' 'no wonder *blahblahblah* gets paid so much'. Never lets you get in a real word, but he's allways making it seem like the conversation has no topics. Maybe one day he'll figure out that when there's air in a parley, and you try right away to fill it, the parley has transformed into a monologue. I could sit the phone down for 20 minutes and he wouldn't even notice my absence. No wonder he hasn't had a girlfriend in 4 years.
That's enough from me. I'll be off to my 'to-do list' now. Wish me luck!
Monday, July 17, 2006
drives you insane
That's me and my niece Lexie, all dressed up cute-like. Nica addition to fatten up the blog, no?
1. The book nearest me: "Kitchen God's Wife" by Amy Tan
2. Stretch our your left arm, what do you touch? A white curtain
3. Last thing watched on television? Mad TV, but it wasn't that funny of an episode
4. Without looking, what time is it? 4:50
5. What is the actual time? 5:13 I was close... ish
6. With the exception of the computer what can you hear? Nothing, Lexie's sleeping soundly
7. When did you last step outside? Early afternoon to take out the garbage
8. Before this survey what did you look at? www.nameandfame.org/greek.html
9. What are you wearing? old ass capris, and a black sleevless top
10. Did you dream last night? Yes, and it had something to do with Fred Weasley... Probably on account of I was writing in LP all day yesterday, and watching HP as well (what would I do if I weren't a harry potter geek?)
11. When did you last laugh? With Lexie when she was eating my face
12. What is on the walls in the room? Nothing unless you count curtains, and the calendar that is flopped out on my desk that I meant to go up
13. Seen anything weird lately? A daddy long legs spider on the ceiling. More freaky than weird, not that I'm scared of spiders, but those things are awkward looking buggers
14. What do you think of this quiz? it's a nice excuse for an entry
15. What is the last film you saw? Sword and the Stone. I love that cartoon, it warms me 'art.
16. Tell me something we don't know. I open mouth kissed a horse once. (lol, no that was Austin Powers) Ok, here goes, I'm secretly in love with Bill from Kill Bill. I think she should have forgiven him, he seemed ready to make ammends, and he was a great father.
17. If you could change one thing about the world, what would you do? Hmmm... I would probably have a part of the world to myself, and make the whole thing loads bigger to better fit everyone. Mostly the island dealie to myself, and whomever I invite though
18. Do you like to dance? Let's do the Timewarp again!!
19. George Bush? He does his best, stop picking on the poor guy.
20. Imagine your first child is a girl. ....And? No I don't believe I'll be having any children. I love other people's kids, but I'm a better Aunt than a mother, I'll admit it freely. But on the off chance I have a child, and it was a girl, I would name her Aqua. That's right, Aqua. (my argument for not being a good mother, I'm too anti-conformist. Poor Aqua would be miserable)
21. Imagine your first child is a boy. No thanks. A girl or nothing. If it's a boy, his father gets him.
22. Would you consider living abroad? Yes, in fact I plan to someday
23. What would God say to you when you reach the pearly gates? "what are YOU doing here?" Then he would send me back to earth for a thousand years as punishment for screwing up my current life. Maybe an exaggeration, but something like that I'm sure.
24. 6 people who will do this quiz. Christine, Monnserat, Steph, and then I need to find more people to read my blog. (anyone else who wishes to do the quiz, is welcome LOL)
my oh my
wOOt!! Second post!
As a nanny, my only real news is that of today's expirience with Lexie, the wittle girl I look after that happens to be my niece. So here goes:
We have refined the art of peek-a-boo. In her crib, the lining of it that is soft and cushy can be easily pushed up and down the crib's bar type thingies. Lately my sister and I have noticed that Lexie has learned to push it down and look around at her room. I used it to my advantage this afternoon in a goofy game of 'peek-a-boo where Lexie did most of the work. All I had to do was sit on the floor beside her crib and say, "Where's the Lexie?" in an attention grabbing voice. She would proceed to pull down the lining, and we would fall into a fit of giggles where she would let go of the lining and the game would start again It wore her out, the dear, and now she's on her 3rd nap of the day.
I don't know how exciting that is to anyone besides me, and maybe my sister, but there it is, that's my summer life.
OMG I picked up my phone for the first time in like 20 hours, and I saw that I had a missed call. I thought it might be from my sister, but NO it had to be from someone I didn't want to talk to. Why do I feel like I owe 'this person' my life? When she calls, I feel utterly dreadful at the thought of talking to her, and it all started by her planning everything to death! I didn't have my own life anymore, it was all 'we meet for lunch everyday at 12:30, then we split until dinner at 6:30, and after that a movie we've seen a million times, then we go for a late night snack at McDonalds!' HOLY CRAP it was so annoying, and she wonders why I wanted to leave Huntsville/Texas and never look back. Well, now that I'm gone, she doesn't smother me AS much anymore, becuase frankly she can't. But the damn smothering is layed on super thick when it can be, which is coming up. I never should have told her that I was going to be free for a few hours between flights, now she's ready to swallow me up. It wouldnt be all that bad, except I know she is going to be cramming a load of 'come back to SHSU' down my throat with subtle, gentle, yet guilt ridden overtones.
Seriously, I'm going to tell her not to bother. My flight was moved up or something, I don't know. ANYTHING, I just can't handle her smothering, I feel like I'm not even a person to her. I feel sorry for all the shmucks I left behind in her clutch. Now that she doesn't have me to boss around and strangle anymore, they'll be prime targets.
What bothers me the most is that when she begs me to come back to texas, she says things like, "I'm having Paige withdrawls." Last summer when she said this I was flattered, and thought she really meant that she and I can only be crazy together. It took me two semesters to realize that what she really means is that I'm the only one pliable enough to fit to her grip. *sigh* Will it never end?
ok, I didn't plan to go off on a little rampage there, that must have needed to come out. I'm gonna sign off before I rant some more,
love,
paige
Sunday, July 16, 2006
numero uno
My first post onto blogspot!! I'm so excited!!!
A little get-to-know me, I am a veteran to the ways of bloggers and blogging it up. My first blog was on livejournal, by the name of queen pegness. I still have that one, going strong. Then I got one on Xanga by the name of tuby_ted, it's slowly dying out. And then there's the rarely used myspace, by the name of wild cherry. The reason I have a illion and a half blogs is because I move around a bit. The people I know from past residencies and I stay in touch mainly by eachother's blogs. Problem is they are all on the different sites I have mentioned, so unfortunately, i don't feel I can delete any of my blogs. Maybe myspace, that site is weirding me out... too addictive, not healthy
Some more REAL get-to-know me, I am under 20, and have completed this past may my first year of the big U. (university, that is) I went to a little hole in the wall name Sam Houston State University in hicksvill texas, otherwize known as Huntsville. You can imagine what drove me away from that dump, not to mention I got a better offer from Momma in Calif, so I guess it's taking a step backwards to take a step forwards, so to speak. I don't mind down grading back to live with the parents, and stepping down from a big U into a little U, that's not a big deal, I can live with it.
Summer this year is being spent in Miami, taking care of my niece Lexie. Her mom, my sis, is working during the week, and that is my time to shine. But that's nearly done with, I ship out in three weeks. :( Here's my sister
That's about it for me. More late, of course. I might even write special posts in this blog, just to make it feel different from the other four, we'll see. I'm thinking yes.
love,
paige