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July 2006
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Wednesday, July 19, 2006
dreaded roberts
I'm having a real 'bitch' issue with myself this fine wednesday.
After I got a message from someone I thought was Robby, my net romance, and it appeared he'd changed his user name from Hurc, my pet name for him, back to Robert. This made me panic, and search my mind for reasons he may be pissed at me. Was it because I ignored his phone call today? Was it because I was short with him in our conversation yesterday? Then I caught myself, and said; "Paige, you did those things so that he would get mad at you. Now you don't want him mad at you?"
And I replied, "Self, no. I did those things to see how far I could push this guy and still have him picture me as a goddess like he does." I'm no goddess, Robbie doesn't realize that yet.
But that's the problem with net romances, your 'sig other' can have a totally messed up preception of you and there's nothing to let him know he's wrong. I thought I wanted him to stop obsessing over me. I was wrong. That is why I'm a bitch, and I do play games with people's hearts. This does come as a shock, even though it shouldn't.
Meh, I guess I've been doing it for years. The only way to stop is cold turkey. Am I willing to do that? Yes, I think so, but that means little since I hardly realize what I'm doing till it's too late. Example: I've been toying with my ex boyfriend for MONTHS now, calling him up at random times, talking for hours, making empty promises to call more often, and that we will go to disney land together someday. But as soon as we hang up, I know it wont happen. See? BITCH, right here. *sigh*
On a lighter note, my blog will have a fresh new look to it pretty soon. My talented, web-savy sister is helping me out with the layout ect. (when I say helping, I mean she is nice enough to make one for me) Thanks Steph!
-peggy le paige-